You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
