just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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