do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
