I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
