i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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