I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
