i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
