this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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