i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
