I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
