Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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