90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
