I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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