JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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