I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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