i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
