There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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