i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
