I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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