you're like a bully in the Christmas story
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
