just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
