Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
