The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
