Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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