Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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