# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
