i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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