Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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