But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
