And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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