I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
