PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
