Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize