Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
