Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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