i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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