he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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