I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
