Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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