I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
