No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did i walk over a car last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize