addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
