i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
