Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
