There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
