nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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