I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
