take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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