do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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