Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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