is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
