But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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