well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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