in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
