I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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