I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
