awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
